Friday, August 10, 2012

Introvert.

I am an introvert. For years, I've been called things like quiet and shy, but they've never quite felt accurate. Now I think I have the right word. {If home videos are to be believed, though, I was not an introverted child. I was surprisingly obnoxious, loud, and bossy. Guess that comes from being the older sister. :)} Here are some things you might not know about me...

I thrive on consistency and routines (I'm a bit obsessive with my routines :). Spontaneity and change almost always make me nervous and unsettled.

Being around a lot of people for a long time drains me. Even if I'm having a lovely time. At the end of days like that, I want nothing more than to get by myself...to read and journal and think and just recharge.

I hate the telephone. Awkward pauses and silences are just exaggerated on the phone. I need time to think of responses, and I need face-to-face interaction to see how the person is reacting to what I'm saying. {Also, I sound like an absolute country hick on the phone. Or at least I do on the answering machine, so I assume I do in phone conversations, too.}

Crowds and large groups of people make me nervous, especially when they're strangers. I'm really self-conscious.


I took a public speaking class last spring because it was mandatory in my program to graduate. It was one of the scariest things I've done. I talked really fast and sweated a lot and my hands shook, but I finished the class and even scraped by with an A (proof that this Hermione would face anything for an A :).

I'm awful at multi-tasking. I try it a lot, but I can't get anything done when I'm trying to do two or three things at once. I need to concentrate on one thing.

I'm also awful at small talk. I guess you could say I'm quiet, because I generally end up listening more than talking. But...get me started on a topic I'm interested in (sewing, old movies, books) and you'll be amazed at how much I babble. :)

I am okay with the fact that, compared to most girls my age, I'm basically a little old lady trapped as a twenty-one year old. :) I spend my weekends at home, knitting and watching old movies, instead of being out and about in town, socializing.

I feel comfortable with silence. Just because I'm not talking much doesn't mean something's wrong. Sure, I might have something on my mind, but it's probably not anything worrying me. I'm probably plotting a new crafty project or thinking about something I've read. :) I threw this one in because my mom always worries something is wrong when I'm in a quiet mood.

I never liked group work in school. Part of it was because I was so obsessive about my grades that I didn't want someone else's indifference to affect my grade. But it was also because I worked better by myself.

But I don't want to sound so negative. It's not that I don't like people! :) I don't always want to be alone. There are lots of people that I love spending time with. It's just that I'm not as effortlessly social as most people.


I've known these things about myself for quite some time, but it seemed like nobody else felt this way. Then I came across this book, which I finished reading last weekend, called Quiet.

And it was amazing! All of these little things weren't just personal quirks...they were characteristics of introverts. This book talks about how our world, especially America, has an "extrovert ideal." We are drawn to loud, confident people. We automatically assume that the loudest, flashiest, best presenters are the best- that they know exactly what they're talking about. We like charisma. Quiet, introverted children are a cause for worry and concern because they're social in a different way from other kids.

It was fascinating. Did you know that the brains of introverts and extroverts are wired differently, even from birth? Of course, life and experiences have an effect, too. The basic message of Quiet is that introverts and extroverts are different. But one is no better than the other- they both have advantages and disadvantages. They're both good at certain things, and lacking in other areas. So they can balance each other out. :)

{The book held my attention more than I expected it to. I'm a novel kind of girl- fiction is my thing. When I read nonfiction, it's typically memoirs, biographies, etc. It did get a bit dull in a few spots, though. And it revolved a lot around the corporate business world, which isn't interesting or applicable to me, so that got a little annoying.}

But of course, this book wasn't written from a Christian perspective, so there's a bit more to it than that for me. Which of these things are natural personality traits that are fine for me to accept, and which are fear-things that I need to move past, that God can help me work through? When is it okay to stay in my comfort zone (if only comfort zones weren't so darn...comfortable :) and when do I need to step out?



What about you? Are you a quiet introvert or a super-social extrovert? Or somewhere in between?


Until next time,

8 comments:

  1. That is pretty much me to a T. I am an introvert, and it doesn't bother me. It used to, but I've come to terms with who I am. Thank you for this post, it reminds me that I'm not alone, even though it may feel like it at times.
    Kristin @ the-greatperhaps@blogspot.com

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  2. Oh my gosh, Kristen, everything you said in this post, I was like, "Me too!" I am definitely an introvert. Sometimes it can be frustrating, but that's just the way I am. Awkward/shy/little Lindsay. ;) But yeah, if you want to talk about sewing, sports, or computer-related things, I can really get talking. :P Hmm, I might have to read that book... it sounds interesting. Anyway, I really enjoyed this post! It was sooo me. :)

    <3,
    Lindsay

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  3. I totally get what you mean, cause I'm pretty much the exact same way! Most of those things you mentioned applied to me, especially the phone and small talk one.

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  4. Well, I'm kind of a lot like you...except nerdier and throw in a dash of spontaneity here and there and you have ME! ;)

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  5. I am definitly more of an introvert. I love talking with close fiends and family but otherwise I'm not that outgoing. And I know what you mean about staying home on the weekends instead of going out.
    I have had many people tell me I'm just an old soul. It doesn't bother me one bit!
    caitylyn97@gmail.com

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  6. Haha- I'm COMPLETELY what Sarah Elizabeth said! ;)

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  7. Kristin, love this post. :) I'm so introverted, 'cept with kids. I could talk a mile a minute every minute of the day if I'm surrounded with ones shorter than me (and that's saying a lot!).

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  8. Oh I can relate to pretty much everything in this post...I am SUCH an introvert too!

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